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Well Chris, you’ve certainly asked a question that has so many possible answers.  Here are a few of my thoughts, based on your aims of -  “.. the cheapest & most enjoyable route we can find with one or two of relaxing overnights on the way. ”  FERRIES I would suggest that the cheapest crossings are from Dover to Dunkirk with DFDS  At present you could get a return fare in Feb/March for about £60.  Don’t worry about it not being to Calais – the distance to Orvieto is virtually the same, and it is the start of the cheap driving route  JOURNEY DISTANCE About 950 miles from Dunkirk, giving a driving time, including stops for food, toilets etc, of about 19hrs.  A good journey planner is the Bing one, as it allows you to change the route easily by dragging it to a new position.    [I find that whatever the journey planner says, if you take reasonable meal breaks and loo stops, and don’t exceed speed limits, I invariably average 50mph twhendriving to Italy]  ROUTE MY favourite is one I’ve often put forward as the cheapest option [NO TOLLs until you reach Switzerland [Carnet] and Italy [Autostrada tolls].  It is Dunkirk – Lille – Charleroi – Luxemburg – Metz – Nancy – Mulhouse – Basle Bypass – Lucerne – St Gotthard Tunnel – and into Italy  This link may work  Advantage of this route is it takes you into Luxembourg  - cheap petrol – all petrol stations [inc the 2 on the motorway] charge the same price.  Petrol in Switzerland is also cheaper than France or Italy – see the AA website for latest petrol prices  WHERE TO STAY Now we have a couple of variables that affect where you choose to stay,  One of the cheapest options is Formula 1 hotels – but I tend to use Ibis or Novotels.  A good website to start on is the Accor one, which includes all price ranges Where you stay depends on what time you leave Dunkirk.  On a journey to Orvieto, I would tend to suggest an evening crossing and an overnight stay near Dunkirk – say at Dunkirk itself or around Lille.  This allows a good start time in the morning and the time loss of the Channel crossing and time Difference has already been used up Next overnight stop would be around Epinal –  about 7hrs driving – more than enough Stop 3 would be around Piacenza  - leaving 4 to 5hrs to Orvieto You could cut out one stop by blasting down to Mulhouse on the first day on the continent, and then getting to Orvieto late on the second day  One thing to avoid – Stopping overnight in Switzerland – it’s expensive  If you have time [and it’s open] it’s worth adding half hour or so on doing the St Gotthard Pass rather than the Tunnel – views are magnificent and there is a café at the museum at the top   I’m sure there will be many other suggestions- but do have an enjoyable trip down – for us the holiday starts when you get on the ferry.

Chis - it would hep if you could say [roughly] where you will be starting your journey from - travel time to sea crossing is important, and Dover might not be the best starting point Alan

This has come up before on this site - try the 'search' facility. I did a quick search on 'borehole', which threw up;-  = Hope this helps .................... Water Divining - yes it can work, I've used the 'bent coat hanger' divining rods to trace drains [for work - not for fun], but its probably best to talk to a professional rather than a Diviner   Good Luck

"the bottles are hugely inconvenient, inevitably running out at completely the wrong time and getting hold of replacement ones can be a pain unless you have a supplier on the doorstep." Before we switched to mains gas, we used the bottled.  The supplier was a couple of miles away, open normal shop hours My son went to the house with friends for a weeks holiday - he told me that the bottled gas ran out late Saturday night.  I asked him what he was going to do, as the supplier wasn't open until Monday morning. He said "no probs!, he'd popped next door, to another [empty] holiday home and swapped it with their gas canister!"  He did replace it on the Monday

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Monarch are starting a Birmingham to Milan Malpensa service early next year

"All food is getting expensive and restaurants are still OTT with their prices. When most of Europe dropped prices in restaurants Italy did not after the credit crunch." I have found some prices going up in restaurants - but if, as I do, you eat where the locals do, then you still get good value for money.  If I pop down into the more touristy areas, [lakeside], then prices can be 50% to 150% higher than at the eateries I use

"It is interesting though how a lot of foreigners think that Italy is cheap. I have a couple of theories as to why this is." Booze is cheap in Italy - always by spirits for return to UK - when  driving often get the wine in France though.

"Have they said how it's going to work?" When interviewed on Radio 4 today - the EasyJet person would not go into details on how it would happen

"Third party cover is useful - but your bank or the post office will cover you for a tile falling off or your dog biting a child for less than €100 a year." I tend to agree with Fillide My holiday home is insured for about 100.000 Euros rebuilding cost and the usual public liability stuff [tiles falling on neighbours etc].  I don't insure the contents - there's nothing expensive left in the house, no TV, computers, jewelry etc, so why bother? Cost me 93 Euros earlier this year, year when I renewed it.  I arranged it through my Estate Agent, and when I'm over in the start of the year I leave him enough cash to cover the renewal costs, and pick the new certificate and change up when I'm next over in Italy in June or July