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I have never posted here but when I came across this discussion it made my minestrone boil. I must respond to this thread which started off with someone falling for the possibility you can buy something for nothing!!!

We are nearly in 2006 WAKE UP!!!!

What a load of rubbish you are making me read.

If you want to buy real pasta you need to frequent the most upmarket places and rub shoulders with intelligent and cultured people and pay through the nose for the priviledge. There will simply be no room for riff raff with meagre budgets in these types of establishments.

As for the glowing vermicelli, I have been informed by various people via PM you have always had a patatine frite on your shoulder and I am going to make you eat humble pie for the fake you are.

I am going to call a policeman about you!!

Thread ..noodles.....

...love them with my stirfry, but my wife prefers rice....

....does this make me a victim?....perhaps the policeman can give me some counselling when he arrives....

me thinks try Albania you can get a mansion with thousands of acres of land and no mafia for 40p

I seriously do not know what to say....

does ryanair fly there?

do they have charming black ladies sporting grand sassos under their brassieres, to warm up those long winter nights in too cold houses?

Well bless my Parmigiano!
That means I can only afford a very small jar slice of pecorino!
Aliena you are trully a comic genius, I nearly fell out of my incredibly small olive tree laughing. :D

[QUOTE=Aliena]You are allowed to take the fifth.. it's OK.. so long as you are smiling! Don't choke as you eat your pannecotta.. let it slip down easy and come with all of us to Albania! We are going to find truffles tomorrow at dawn.. if someone brings a wild pug along to sniff them out!

:) :)[/QUOTE]

Why not invite Clarke, I should think that 'pug' is pretty wild ;)

[QUOTE=Wishful Thinker]does ryanair fly there?

do they have charming black ladies sporting grand sassos under their brassieres, to warm up those long winter nights in too cold houses?[/QUOTE]

I nearly choked on my coffee reading this!!! :)

[QUOTE=Aliena]I was kinda bored to I decided to play mama in the kitchen and this is what I cooked up.. buon appetito :)

1 kilo of Bull****.
18 packets of sneaky smoked pug rashers. (roughly chopped or naturale)
1 small tub of yellow chicken livers
3 large wealthy neighbours (finely cubed)
2 sticks of culture
1 Local Comandante di Polizia (hung for a fortnight)** there is no substitute for this ingredient.
6 cloves of carabinieri
1 gallon of humour (finely diced and arranged in a cross)
1 kilo of ripe Suggs brand tomatoes (Home grown variety only)
4 kilos of chestnut puree ** Available from a trillionaire in Poggioreale - PM me if you need her number!
A slurp of corked vino Ardriatica.
2 Beefy Albanians (crumbled)
A small drop of (crude) oil
Various condiments

Place a heavy bottomed black pan on the brazier and heat a slurp of corked vino Ardriatica and fry slowly with a knob of intelligence. Put the Bull****, sneaky bacon, yellow livers, wealthy neighbours and culture into the pot and gently fry until everything has turned black. Put the Grande Sasso in a cloth for easier removal later and place into the pot. Bring to a quick boil for 5 days. Add the Chief of Police and carabinieri cloves, simmer until transparent.

Then add the Suggs tomatoes. If the liquid doesn't cover the ingredients, add a drop of edukayshun. (now easily available at all Tesco Superstores)

Now add the beefy Albanians, you must tie them down to stop them glowing, all the chestnut puree, lots of grated humour, a couple of pinches of hope and a fair sprinkle of dried lunatic or a handful of shredded vermicelli babies, if you've got them. At this point I also add a small teaspoon of zucchero amato and a dash of balsamic vinegar (takes away any acidity).

Mix it all together with a big wooden spoon. Bring to the boil again and then turn the heat down so that it's just simmering (remember to put the lid on, you don't want all the lovely sauce to evaporate). Leave to cook for at least another hour or so. Have a taste from time to time to see if you need to add any more Clarkes shoes.

When you're happy with the flavour, let it cool and whizz to a froth with an international hand gesture. This gives it a lovely fine texture.

It's better if you can leave it overnight in the fridge before eating, as the flavour intensifies.

:) :)[/QUOTE]

Blatant plagiarism... I'll give you wot for with my big wooden spoon when I see you, my girl ;)

[QUOTE=Aliena]RICE?!! You allow your wife to eat RICE? I have no doubt you are Pug.. :) :)[/QUOTE]

I think you have started some kind of a revolution Aliena...[url]http://www.cafepress.com/dogs_of_war/177858[/url] :D